The bullet bra…worth a shot?

So who can, and who can't, embrace 'the bullet', or is it a roulette too far?

The bullet, It's a tricky look to pull off. Some women look stunning, their pert points enhancing gorgeous hourglass figures; like Marilyn Monroe, Rita Hayworth and Elizabeth Taylor. Yet other images on the Wacky World Wonderland have shown me that pyramided points in the breasted region can go…well…tit's up!

 

As a child I believed that women's breasts of the 40s and 50s had gone through some form of evolution. That they in fact used to be cone shaped (insert childish imagination of woman with ice-cream cornets stuck to her chest), thus we peer into the bizarre understanding of my former self!

 

Right, so is it a smoking gun? (Yes, I am enjoying how pun-tastic this article of clothing is!) Looking at some images I feel that ladies with smaller breasts would find it possibly a bit disheartening; it can make them look less fulsome and more angular. They also look as if they might desperately attempt their own rocket-launch skywards (three-two-one…thunderbirds are, well you get the picture). Larger 'gals' looked like their chests could become overly dominated, looking like they'd had a fight with a couple of traffic cones and lost!

 

Yet, I feel so curious (dangerous ground there, Alice!) How did the belles of by-gone days do it? Monroe only ever looks glamorous and Hayworth was only ever HOT! What gives? Is there some sort of 'pert imparting fairy' that bestows the best endowment on a rare few?

 

No my darlings, it is tailoring!

 

Clothes used to be driven by darts, everything was stitched for an hour-glass. The bullet shot to fame because it was all about maximising this shape (there is also a possibility that the points were to emulate nipples, therefore giving them a more sensual image). Clothing nowadays is less about enhancing and more about revealing, trouble is sometimes it 'reveals' that your not a curvy, Gilda, but more like a boxy Keira.

 

Trouble is some people simply kill their looks with them, while others just look drop-dead-gorgeous. It's about what other 'equipment' you have in your arsenal *wink-wink*.

 

In my opinion? Bullets are for belles with slightly bigger bosoms, but you have to be careful that you don't end up looking like you have weirdly floppy fun-bags, staying up-right by prayer alone. Also having curves helps, Monroe was the human equivalent of an hour-glass, she was able to enhance and in someways reduce her plentiful bosom.

 

Clothing, if you are wanting to get 'the look' of the 40s/50s, then go for it! Find your nearest Vintage store, as ordering online is fine but I prefer to try things on before I buy. If you're near Beccles : http://www.vintagemischief.com/ it is the ONLY place to go. Great people, lovely atmosphere, they even off a fitting service! Check it out, you won't be disappointed.

(Above: Gossard Oh La La, longline…I much prefer the looks of this, it still has an essence of vintage! But is far safer, lol. )

Another thing is to make sure your 'bullet' is fitted correctly. Go to : http://www.investinyourchest.co.uk/ a VERY awesomely wonderful person suggested this WebBlog to me for discovering how to, like the title says,'Invest In Your Chest'.

 

So…yes or no? Not a clue. I would want to try one for fun, just to see. Because, let's face it, we all just wanna know! But I doubt I would make it a staple. Why? I want my chest to impress not impale any suitors.

 

So Pip-pip, darlings.

 

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House rules.

The 1950s brought us some wonderful things, such as: the rocking ra-ra skirt, 5 o'clock cocktails and even gave birth to Huey Lewis so that in the 80s all may know the joys of The Power Of Love.

 

It was also the decade of the housewife. The days when food was ready on the table for 'Jim dear', along with a well shaken Martini, while the wife looked lovingly on in an hour-glass creation that, 'no way on earth did she cook in!?'

 

While trailing the tepid tracks of the internet, I discovered that in 1955 Housekeeping Monthly, there was published an article of helpful 'how's' for the doting darling wife.

 

For some reason I hear the following in the Crabbies Ginger Beer lady voice over:

 

• So that your beloved know's you've been thinking of him all day, have dinner ready for when he arrives home. His favourite meals are a positive prospect for him and are essential.
• Be prepared! Before your husband arrives home restore your make-up, have a few minutes rest and maybe even tie a ribbon in your hair. He has been surrounded by weary co-workers all day and doesn't need to see you looking haggard.
• Listen to him. His conversation points are far more important *cough* than yours, so don't rattle off your worries. He'll just ignore them anyway.
• The evening should be his. Don't even think of complaining if he is late, if he goes out for dinner, stays out on the town…or even stays out all night. As he may have gone through a lot more than you could ever understand, and the mild distress you may suffer is nothing compared to his…*eye-brows hit roof*.
• (So if the bum does turn up) Arrange his pillow nicely and offer to remove his shoes ( or his face whichever you prefer). Speaking in a soothing and pleasant tone, call 0800 for examples, and offer your beloved a drink.
• You should never question him. Why? Because! He is a man, he is therefore never wrong! His will is exercised with fairness and truthfulness *choking* you, my dear, have no right to question him.
• A good wife always knows her place (in this case I'd say on a cruise sailing away from the slovenly turd! Because if he's going to allow you to be used like that, he's not worth a well plucked eyebrow!)

 

I'd think it would be far to say take these pointers with a pinch of salt, darling. But I feel we can all glean some loving tips from these overly 'here I am your living door-mat' thoughts.

 

Pip-pip darlings!

 

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